I am a girl on edge. It is becoming clearer and clearer to me that I need him. I want him. I want his eyes to gaze at me, burning over my skin. I need him to hold me, not tenderly, but forcefully. Like in the movies – girl turns to walk away and is grabbed and swung round into passionate embrace.
Desire. It eats away at me. It’s all fine to have our distance from one another, but when it comes to the essential being of me, I need to have him. Possessive? Dependent? I don’t know. All I know is how I feel and I feel ablaze. I feel my blood running through my body, feel it coursing its way from my heart, down through the flutterings of my stomach centering at my pussy and further down to make my toes tingle. All that at the single, instant thought of him. They say that when a girl is aroused her mouth darkens subtly, making them even more sensitive to touch. No wonder it makes me jump so when he lightly traces his fingertip over my lips.
I want to have him to myself, alone in our place. No distractions. Silence. Just him and me together left to our own minds’ fantasies, our dreams. Nightmares? I need to have all the time it takes to look over him, from the tips of his hair downwards. The time to drink him in with my own eyes.
Away from eachother for only a day or two, a mere matter of hours in fact, and this desperation to have him is ridiculous. Goodness knows how I coped when it was three, four, five weeks apart. The knowledge that the time is fast approaching when we will be under one another’s feet all the time is making the experience of distance unbearable. I fidget. Unable to be still – one of my bad habits. fingers always twitching. Nerves? Worries? Guilty conscience? When I am with him I am able to be still. To be calm. Placid. His soothing nature radiates around me, reflecting into myself and it rubs off on me.
I see him in a few hours’ time. Can I last that long without that exploding feeling to return? I’ll have to wait. Bide my time. The spider waiting. Patience is a virtue. Rest your soul in patience, Pandorah! Yes.
[Is it me or am I putting too many subtle references in my posts? This one contains at least three: One to a book, another to a play and a third to a song. Answers on a comment card if you know any of them. Win an E-Cookie]